She had always been classified as the one always with a smile on her face…so no matter where she went, what she did, people always saw a smile on her face. Whatever she felt and what she went through she always managed to hide. Years went by and as she grew up, this belief became stronger and stronger that people just like seeing her that way…they wanted her to be the person who just goes abt the daily life without a complaint..and listen to their complaints…she became the person whom people want to talk to but not to be talked by. If she felt something by herself, she began to believe that she can get thru it by either sleeping it off or brushing it aside…so a silent crying at night or when no one was seeing became her outlet. And it did help her..because she didn’t have to trouble anyone else and others cud be happy too.
However busy she was or whatever she had important, she always made sure she was there for them when they needed in sadness and happiness too. She took time even when she was busy with other things. It wasn’t unselfish or she wasn’t sacrificing – it did give her a sense of satisfaction, if it could be termed that way.
Years of doing this over and over again..did it take a toll on her?? Yes, it did. Those people who expected her to continue the same way “get up and be happy all over again ” came to think of it as the norm for her and she knew in heart that she created it all.
She realized very late that she was alone – people don’t put another person in front of them even if the other person has taken their time and effort to be there for them. And she couldn’t blame others too – she made an environment where people expected her to be a certain way and she became that person.
She doesn’t want to do that anymore..she wants to be herself and be happy for herself..If she is happy, she is..if she is not and others don’t understand or are busy, well she doesn’t want to care. Having been like this for years, it still will hurt sometimes but she knows she will get to the place one day in future where she will care for herself and liberate herself from any bounds.
And that day, She will be REALLY Happy!!