Alone in a crowd…

I sometimes, wonder, if we are with a group of people, is it necessary that we feel a part of it, do we relate to the individuals in that group? Some people seem to know each other, some know each other a little bit but do they all feel like they are a part of the group or is it their NEED to feel a part of that group. Or like me, does someone else feel, they are alone in a crowd?

After I had to go through my personal health issues for three years, somehow I feel I can relate only to people who really know me inside and out, or were there during the time, and still kept talking to me and kept me going. When I am with a group of people who haven’t known anything or much about me, I feel they don’t know me, they just know me as a name and a person in flesh and bones but nothing else. They don’t know the inner me. So what do I talk to them?? How is the weather? What are the kids doing? How is your life? And then I get tongue-tied as to what else do I say to them. And since I am the kind of person who can smile always but not fake anything; people don’t like my crude honesty. So I am confused, should I be myself or should I pretend to be someone I am not to please people.? After so many years, I have decided I want to be myself, why fake anything and put stress on myself. The only people who can actually tolerate the REAL me are the ones that know my every emotion! Thanks guys, for doing that! And for those whom I meet for a few hours in a year or 2 years, this is me..I don’t aspire to be an actor, so I am not going act as if I am someone else in front of you and I don’t expect you to.

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