Survival or Adaptation?

Usually, we hear people saying, “I miss him/her/them or I miss doing this/that”. Is missing someone or something dependent on what you want? I believe that answer is Yes. A feeling of emptiness or the lack of belonging or having someone/something is dependent on the choices that you make. If you had to make a choice or you had a say in the choice and that is the reason you end up not having someone in your life, then you feel less miserable about it or your mind helps you adapt to it faster because you know that you had another choice and you chose one over another and set your mind to adapt to it. But when you don’t have any choice but to leave the person, place or your work, then you end up feeling a lack of it in your life immediately and you don’t let your mind and heart adapt to it easily. But in both cases, gradually, everyone moves forward!

Making a choice yourself versus having no choice makes a mountain of difference between surviving without something that is a part of your life but we still do. Is it because we stop believing that we are not attached to that? No. It is because you tell yourself that I made my choice and right now, even if I miss it, I will learn to move forward. A friend of mine once mentioned, about having someone dear to him most of the time in his life, and when one person went away, after some time, someone else came in to his life and they became dear. Now, is it because the previous person was not so important for him, that they could be replaced? Having known this person very well, I say No! But once a person knows that they are not coming back into their life, they learn to move on. And if at some point of time, they feel lonely, they learn to adapt to that too…learn that to live their life, they have to make choices that will help them move forward. Again, choices help them decide whether they are able to move on with their life faster or does it take a long time. Life goes on and people learn to live, adapt and learn more about themselves and find different paths.

When people move from one place to another, we mostly are first to tell them/think what they might miss and telling them how it might be so different. But what if we were making that decision to move because of our own reason or excuses, will we feel the same way?? Will we look at the positive side of it?? Will we convince ourselves that the greater good lies in the choice you are making? Ask yourself these questions, when you are faced with people or things changing in your lives. Think if the change was brought by you or by someone else, think of how fast or slow you are to adapt to that change and then check if the result was dependent on your contribution to the change.  As human beings, we talk ourselves into believing what we want to. It is always OUR choice!! As the first part of the saying from Julius Caesar rightly says –

“”What we wish, we readily believe, and what we ourselves think, we imagine others think also.”

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3 thoughts on “Survival or Adaptation?

  1. Hi there!!! While searching for something, I stumbled upon your blog… Found it intriguingly deep with a tinge of sadness!! Something that is vaguely a reflection of me – my ‘old’ me, that is…

    Thought I will share some thoughts… I’ll have to caution you though, that what I write may not even be slightly relevant to what your deepest thoughts are!! You’ll have to excuse my ‘stupidity’ if that is the case…

    Here I go…

    I used to work at a publishing house… Living my dream – writing, creative writing, editing… Working with designers… Seeing my words pop out in pages – GRATIFYING beyond words!!!

    I married my best friend from college!! Marrying him was, again, living my dream…

    Then came my pregnancy & with it came some illnesses… Which all came down to some choices… Working at odd hours (mostly until 2 am at night)? Or keeping the baby alive & staying healthy?

    Every woman is thrown these choices at this point or some point in life, or so I guess!!

    I looked at my best friend – my husband for advice. He said that his answer may seem selfish & politely refused to give any advice. But I got the clue & decided to go with his answer & quit my job…

    A week later I stopped by my office to pick up some paperwork & was shocked & surprised to find that my junior had occupied my cabin… I couldn’t help smiling at how swiftly I was been replaced… I knew then, that I made the right decision…

    Though it felt good that I made the right decision, (I am still not sure if ‘I made’ the decision or ever-so-gently was pushed ‘to make’ the decision by my husband), it wasn’t easy adapting to change. I felt useless & empty… Especially since my mom was still working!!

    Letting go of something that we are/were passionate about isn’t easy by any means – whether it’s our own choice or by force… If it’s our own choice, it becomes that much more harder on us for making that choice. (That’s why I like to believe that my husband indirectly made that choice – I can blame him for a lifetime now!! 😉)

    The key is in not just ‘moving on’ but in finding ways to keep that passion alive!! To bloom where we are planted!!

    I still write – of course not to that larger audience… I write for myself. Not many get to read what I write… Actually, it doesn’t really matter whether or not anyone reads – For I am doing what I love…

    Over the years, I have come to enjoy the company of my kids & the joys they bring!!

    I have come to realize that the job I am in today, is a much higher calling – something that can’t be swiftly replaced!!

    I know a retired professor that worked all her life… She used to commute (an hour, one way) to her work for nearly 30 years… She was passionate about her job… She once told me, “I foolishly thought my kids will never grow. When I finally rested, I found an empty home!!”

    ~love, Jen

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Jen for sharing your life’s moment! You are so right. It becomes even more difficult when we, ourselves have to make that choice. You are right about keeping the passion alive! I am trying as much as possible to keep it alive.
      You mentioned abt your friend who is a retired professor..it was interesting I was talking to a lady and she decided to keep everything on hold for the kids and today she felt that the kids are gone and she does not have the confidence to do anything! Just a different perspective!

      I loved your deep insight!! I would love to read what you write. Do you have a website?

      Like

  2. Hi Rohini,
    I know I said that I don’t have a website… That got me thinking though… Why not have one? So I opened a blogger a/c and just put 3 of my works there… Please don’t publish this response in your blog because I am attaching the link here… 😊 I don’t intend to go public yet… Baby steps!! But as I always tell my friends, I’d love to know what you think!!
    leavesoutofmydiary.blogspot.com
    Love,
    Jen

    Like

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