I saw this tree in a park the other day..standing alone! The tree standing there strong made me think. What would this lonely tree think?? Would it think that I am glad to be alone – no one to take the water that I need, no one to take the nutrients I need from the soil. I don’t have to waste my energy on fighting for my daily survival. So what if I don’t have anyone to talk to but at least I am free to do what I want to without being judged or have too many parameters that would define what and how I should do things. OR would it think I don’t have anyone; I have to stay here alone and no one to challenge me to do better.
Think about it – kind of how we would view our lives at different points of time. We love having people around and having them to love, to hate, to compete. But sometimes, we wish we could do things on our own in our own way and not let others define how we should act or live. We just wish we could just follow our instincts, be able to show our emotions as they are and not be shunned down for it. That lonely tree can show its emotions and follow its instincts since there is no one to tell it to behave in a certain way, on the other hand, it does not have anyone around who would be there to see when it is happy or when it is sad. Maybe as humans, we want to share our lives but how much of sharing of our lives causes unhappiness???
Should the lonely tree be happy about being alone or sad that it does not have anyone near?
I always talk about emotions. And sometimes, I feel each emotion takes up a lot of my life! I look at people around me and looks like they have a check on their emotions, a control over what will or will not consume them. How do they do it when I can’t??
My friend once told me your face immediately reflects what you are feeling. And I feel it is because anything that may be happy, sad, angry takes over me. It engulfs me so much that I can only think about that emotion for a long time..particularly if it is something that has hurt me. I can’t let go of it. I have to fight it so much that it takes a lot of my energy.
And then I see people who have so much control over it. It is like they have figured out life and how to live it without getting affected much. They have a tight hold of what they feel and will never do anything that will make them feel vulnerable.
So my question is how are they like that and I am like this?? What made them and what made me??
Yesterday, I talked to a friend after a very long time. It brought back some old memories. I thought of the time, (it surely feels like this) that I did not have any worries or never bogged myself down with “what ifs”. I did what I wanted to do, I knew what I wanted to do. My days were busy and at the same time, I was working on my dream. I felt like a free bird learning how to fly and knowing I will soar high one day. And that is the only thing that mattered.
Now I feel I laugh but have hundred things that are going on my mind at the same time. I am soaring high but I am always worried about what is happening on the ground below. The sky is beautiful but I am thinking when some dark clouds will take over. This moment, I am focused but the next moment my focus has been dispersed into different streams. I pride myself on multi tasking but I also feel I am forgetting to enjoy small moments of happiness or accomplishments because I am already thinking of the next thing to come. I always need something to do but I also want to smile heartily after I have done it. It should not be that only if I reach my goal, I should be happy. Knowing that I am one step closer every day to my life long goal should also put a smile in my heart and make me feel confident that even with obstacles, I will be there one day. I should love that though I am walking slowly towards my destination, with every step that I take, I am closer to it. And during this walk, enjoy every small thing that comes in the way.
There is that feeling as you are approaching the milestones that will make your dream a reality…elated but also fearful, excited but also doubtful, smiling but still apprehensive. I feel it could be a fear that it still won’t come true or something will go wrong. What if after all those efforts and sacrifices , it might still fall flat. What if as I touch the dream, it will vanish away.
With so many “what ifs”, could anyone actually end up following their dreams? And if I give on to my fears, I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and regret why I didn’t even try, and ask myself – for what did I hold myself back! Chasing our dreams does mean sacrificing, taking decisions that would have been otherwise hard to take, coming out of our comfort zone and walking through the difficult road. But at the end, if you get what you want then it is all worth it. I have to remind myself that multiple times and I am sure even after all these reminders, I am still going to worry but my eyes are on that day when I will say It was all worth it!!!
There in the fog, she stood,
Not knowing where to turn to,
Every direction seemed to lead to darkness,
Every step looked like a step to doom,
She is afraid that the fog will clear,
And she will find herself lost in eternity,
She is afraid if the fog doesn’t clear,
She is stuck at the same place for her whole life,
If only she could sense the warmth,
That would engulf her once the fog lifted,
If only she could envision the light,
That would brighten her life,
If only she would …….
As I listen to many conversations here, one thing I realize is that for most people, their job is a means of bringing in money. From the time, I have come here, people have told… you should just take a job here , a job there but I don’t relate to it. Yes, do I have the financial stability right now to course me through a few years? Yes. But my job for me has never been a means to make money. If it was, I wouldn’t have left my 6 figure salary to get into teaching and earn one-sixth of it.
My job is my passion and will remain so. I always knew from my childhood that my need is to create a difference in at least one person’s or child’s life. And from the time, I was at school, I made sure I volunteered at shelters or orphanages.
Teaching has been my bread and butter, not in terms of income but in terms of satisfying my soul. A child who could not read English ends up writing a beautiful essay, that is life changing for me. I believe there is no selfless deed..and mine is selfish too….this gives me happiness. For different people, it may be different things.
I am not making any judgments..i just want to know if you think of your job or work as something else other than a source of income.
Just curious to know various perspectives 😉
I have read about true love only in fairy tales. Yesterday, I was reading about this story from a movie – A real life story that made me think about pure love! Love in its purest and truest form!
The story starts in the same way ..a boy and girl from different religions fall in love…they are kept apart by the families. But what caught my attention was that they were apart from each other for 22 years and they kept loving each other and waited for each other the whole time. Their form of communication was letters and a language that they called their own, perhaps language of love. The couple finally decided to go to the US but as fate would have it, the guy gets killed in an accident. She says, if there was a pyre lit on that day for him, I would have jumped into the fire because the pain was so unbearable. She still lives and calls herself as his widow even though they could never get married.
Their friends even called it “MADNESS”. True, how can you not call it madness? Lovers get separated due to various circumstances in their lives…but generally, one of them moves on. It is not wrong..it is just a way of life. But this love story made me believe in the existence of true love in real life. Their love story did not have a “Happily ever after” ending but they proved to the world that love exists and not just exists but exists in its purest form. It may be rare but the hope that they give and the lesson you learn from it is much more valuable.
A tragic ending to their lives but the love they had, is immortal!
Like my friend Vinitha said in her blog, Love and have faith in love…!